I’ve never had the luxury of being able to afford two incredibly expensive Maine lobsters, perhaps having something to do with the fact that I’ve never had a date with any television newsmen. Therefore, unlike Francine, I’ve never actually prepared them (but do we know that she actually ever cooked them?) I’ve cooked shrimp, crab legs, lobster tails, even whole crabs, but never whole lobsters. However, should you ever be in the position of having your own local TV newsman on your dinner list, here are some basic lobster directions, adapted from an article by Sam Hayward in Taunton’s Fine Cooking magazine (June/July 1994). Be forewarned that we are talking murder here. Remember, Francine can be ruthless!

To steam two 1- to 1½-pound lobsters: Put one inch of water in a pot large enough to hold the lobsters. Make sure it has a tight-fitting lid. Bring the water to a rapid boil.

Rinse the lobsters briefly in cool water and remove the rubber bands from their claws. Put the lobsters in the pot on their backs. Supposedly in this position, the lobsters cook--and die--more quickly! Cover the pot and turn up the heat to bring the water back to a boil.

As soon as the water returns to a boil, set the timer for seven minutes. After seven minutes, turn off the heat and let the lobsters rest in the covered pot of hot water for an additional minute. Remove the lobsters from the pot with tongs and serve. I suggest lots of melted butter as an accompaniment. From there, you’re on your own!

Enjoy!


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